


if i loved you less, i might be able to talk about it more

by tinytonysnark



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Superfamily (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:13:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 9,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24911401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinytonysnark/pseuds/tinytonysnark
Summary: A collection from the prompt list: "50 Wordless Ways To Say I Love You" [not chronological, not related]
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 42
Kudos: 77





	1. 34. mending an item of their clothing that was ripped

“Ah, damn. There’s a tear,” Tony pouts as he pokes his finger in the hole of Rhodes’ MIT hoodie. 

Like most of the clothes he steals, it’s 2 sizes too large for him, sleeves coming all the way down past his hands giving him sweater paws, long enough to reach his mid-thigh. He huddles in it whenever he needs comfort, whenever he’s particularly missing _‘his Rhodeybear_ ’ or sometimes slips on after a nightmare because he needs something achingly familiar. 

Steve _hates_ the damn thing. 

Back before they started dating, spotting Tony wrapped up in it would fill him with an irrational jealousy despite knowing that Tony and Rhodes aren’t together - _have never been together_ and were more like brothers. 

Not to mention that he had _no right_ to be jealous. Tony wasn’t _his_ , not the way Steve wanted him to be and _oh, boy did he want -_

And it didn’t fade away once they got their shit together and well, _got together._ If anything, it made it worse. 

Because Tony does steal Steve’s clothes, to a frankly _ridiculous_ degree - Steve’s learned to buy doubles whenever shopping for hoodies - so there’s something about watching Tony reach for Rhodes’ rather than _one of his_ that doesn’t sit right with him.

Tony looks at the rip sadly before carefully folding it and placing it back in his closet. He turns to Steve and gives him a sheepish smile, “Guess it was bound to happen sooner rather than later.”

He gets under their covers, gives Steve a peck on the lips as he wishes him a goodnight before dropping off in less than a minute. 

Steve isn’t surprised, par for the course whenever Tony’s been on a binge in the workshop. 

He continues reading for a bit - The Turner House, a pretty good read - before calling it a night, Jarvis dimming the lights as he places a kiss on Tony’s cheek before settling in behind him. 

🧵 🧵 🧵 

Tony handles the mending of Steve’s suit now. It used to be SHIELD, but once Tony got his hands on it, he refused to let SHIELD get anywhere near any of the Avengers’ suits. 

And back before any of this, Steve had been mending his own suit during the war. The USO girls had taught him _many a thing_ while they’d been on tour, not all necessarily _useful_ to him since he got together with Tony, but they did teach him how to sew up a hole so he could fix up his costume when needed. 

So while Tony is out shopping with Nat, Steve stitches up the rip - and really, it takes him _less than 5 minutes_ to do it, though he does spend _at least_ 5 minutes just trying to thread the eye of the needle.

When Tony comes home, arms laden with bags, one filled with sweatshirts - _“They’re for you, Steve! I didn’t buy all this for me”_ why is such a lie because Steve will wear them, _at best_ , 3 times before they disappear from his wardrobe - he sees the hoodie on the chair where Steve left it and stills. 

“You fixed up the rip?” he asks, finger running over the stitch. 

“Yeah, it was an easy fix,” Steve shrugs, sitting on the edge of their bed. 

Tony throws it on then settles onto Steve’s lap before stamping his face with kisses. 


	2. 49. giving them a tight hug that makes them lose their breath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspired by [this post!](https://rogers-stark45.tumblr.com/post/185930781730/steve-picking-up-the-kids)

Tony’s pacing up and down the living room, trying to quell the _unsettled_ feeling that’s been building in his chest since he got onto the plane to New York four days ago. 

He hasn’t travelled without Steve since they got _married_ and they haven’t travelled _at al_ l once Morgan came into their lives, so these last 4 days have been brutal in a new way for him.

He usually lets Pepper deal with public appearances, choosing to fade into the background to let her do what she was _born to do_ and so he can live as peacefully as he can with his family, out of the public eye. 

But as the keynote speaker, he couldn’t exactly get out of it, nor would he pull the kids out of school for 3 days, thus leaving him with an itch under his skin that grew everyday, turning him into a ball of anxiousness. 

They should be on the way back from school by now, and Tony _knows_ he’s being ridiculous, _he does -_ but he really thinks that if they don’t walk through the door in the next 2 minutes he’s going to _combust._

 _At long last_ , he hears Steve’s car pull in the driveway and he rushes to the front door, throwing it open. 

Steve’s opening the backseat to help Morgan as Peter and Harley climb out, all of them turning to look at Tony in surprise. 

Tony grins at them from where he’s leaning against the doorframe.

Steve grins back at him before placing Morgan onto his shoulders and yelling, “Alright, let’s see who can hug Dad the fastest!”

Tony barely has time to process that before all he sees is his family _sprinting_ to him at full speed.

Morgan gives a shriek of laughter and the ball of anxiety that’s been building in Tony’s heart _disappears like magic -_ and he finds himself being enveloped in a hug from all angles, squeezed so tight he can barely suck in a breath.

“Hey sweetheart, you’re early,” Steve says into his hair, carefully holding onto Morgan as she attempts to climb from him to Tony. 

“Wanted to surprise you guys,” Tony wheezes, placing kisses on Peter and Harley’s heads and then smacking a kiss on Morgan’s cheek. 

“Did you get us presents?” Harley asks into Tony’s shirt at the same time Peter asks, “How’d the conference go?” 

“Yes and good, to _both_ questions,” Tony answers with a laugh. 

“Alright, let’s head in,” Steve says, herding them inside. “I wanna hear all about your trip.”

“Me too!” their kids chime in and Tony finally, _finally,_ feels like he’s home.


	3. 26. doing a chore for them that you know they aren't fond of

Steve has been watching Bob Ross videos for the last _2 weeks_ since Bruce mentioned offhandedly that Steve would enjoy it.

And from the state of his art studio, he definitely has. 

Tony gifted the art studio to Steve back when they’d all started to live together, fully stocked and equipped with all the necessary amenities. 

He’d given everyone their own little room that was just _theirs._

Nat’s got a dance studio on her floor, Clint has access to the roof hatch, Thor has an entire landing pad for whenever he wants to fly out or even just stare up into space - to home, Bruce has his own lab that Tony likes to barge into _\- for science, Brucie! -_ but he also has his own mini library with a reading nook that he goes in whenever he wants some peace and quiet. 

Tony isn’t sure how much quiet Bruce gets whenever Thor is in there with him, but he’s never kicked him out. 

And Tony, well he has his workshop. He’s _always_ had his workshop. 

Though, in recent times, he finds Steve down there with him more often than not, sitting on the couch sketching or playing fetch with DUM-E while Tony tinkers with equipment for the team. 

Steve himself rarely made use for the art studio and Tony doesn’t think he’s stepped back into it since he showed it to Steve, until now. 

_Now_ there are canvases all over, only a few blank - the others are filled with gorgeous landscapes and Steve clearly has a partiality for the sunsets, though Tony does spot some glaciers and meadows around. 

The easel is facing a blank wall, where Jarvis projects the videos and there are paints and brushes strewn all over the table beside it. 

The mess shouldn’t really surprise him since Steve _himself_ had admitted that while he enjoys painting, he’s not as fond of the clean up. 

Tony stares at the paint brushes that are drying out with paint stuck to the handles and the metal mixing palette that had dark swirls of colours coming together that just look like black to him and the plastic container of water that actually is _pitch black_ with dirty paint water and thinks _\- nope!_

He grabs the materials and brings them over to the attached sink in the room to clean them, looking at the disgusting black swirl that goes down the drain when he dumps out the water. 

He’s just fanning out the brushes on some paper towels to dry when Steve wanders in, arms laden with plastic bags full of acrylic paints and what appears to be a Bob Ross Painting Kit. 

“Hey Tony,” Steve says, a bemused smile on his face. “What are you doing in here?”

“Oh, I came up to see if you wanted to grab lunch but was then completely and _utterly grossed_ out by the state of your brushes, so I washed them,” Tony shrugs, gesturing at the now clean painting supplies. 

“You - you _washed my brushes?_ Tony, you didn’t have to do that!” Steve says, staring at Tony in disbelief but with an unbearable warmness in his voice.

“Yeah, well it was bothering me,” Tony says, cheeks going pink as Steve continues to look at him. “Plus, I know how much you hate doing the clean up.”

Steve puts down the plastic bags, “I don’t _hate_ it, it’s tedious is all.”

Tony hums his acknowledgement, _it had been tedious -_ but still necessary. “So you must find his sunset videos extremely satisfying,” Tony says, pointing to all the canvases lining the wall. 

Steve stills then nods. “Yeah, I like the colours.” He takes a breath before looking at Tony. “I like any colours that mix in red and golds like that.”

All the blood swirling in Tony’s brain goes to the apples of his cheeks. “Oh. I - I really like them too. I mean _\- obviously,_ because those are _my_ colours but - I, I really like them during the sunsets too. They’re pretty,” he says, trying not to wince at how awkward he sounds. 

“Yeah, _pretty_ ,” Steve echoes before striding over to Tony and stopping just short of their lips touching, eyes questioning. 

Tony answers.


	4. 1. holding their hands when they are shaking

The gallery was already filling up by the time Steve got there. 

There were caterers milling about with trays of finger foods that regardless of portion size, will probably sit like a lead weight in Steve’s stomach. _Especially_ as he spots more and more people making their way through the exhibit, to the back, where his painting is. 

He’s going to be sick. God, he should have picked a different painting, one that _doesn’t_ make his insides feel like they’re tying themselves into knots at the very thought of _him_ seeing it - but this counts for half of Steve’s grade and none of his other paintings had _come close_ to being good enough and now - _that painting_ is hanging on the walls of this exhibit and all his friends are walking through the door and _he hasn’t even told -_

“Hey, Stevie,” Bucky says, clean shaven and hair swept back neatly, wearing a crisp white button down. An ensemble Sam - looking put together as he always does- clearly appreciates from the way he’s eyeing his boyfriend. 

“Why aren’t you standing by your work?” Natasha asks, looking gorgeous in an off-shoulder black dress, her eyes narrowed at him. 

“Was waiting for you guys,” Steve lies, hoping his panic isn’t reflected on his face.

“Tony’s on his way,” Sam says before Steve can even get the question out, whose mouth shuts with a click. “He got caught up with Thor.”

Oh. _Thor._

Tony’s new friend who he’s been spending _a lot_ of time with in the last couple of weeks. Tony’s new friend who looks like an _underwear model_ and is named after a Norse God - _because sure, why not?_ \- and can actually keep up with Tony’s stream of science talk because he’s studying _astrophysics_ \- because of course he is. In the face of all that, what _chance_ does Steve have really, if he even had one to begin with.

God, he doesn’t know what’s worse - if Tony ends up making it to the exhibit, or gets _derailed_ because of Thor and misses it because they’re off doing - 

“I’m here! I’m here!” Tony shouts from across the floor of the showroom, drawing looks from the patrons though Steve would argue that Tony draws looks _no matter what_ he does, especially so if he’s wearing a fire truck red dress shirt.

“Sorry I’m late, I was with -”

“Thor, I know,” Steve cuts in, hoping he doesn’t sound as bitter as he feels.

Judging from the look on Nat’s face, he’s failed spectacularly. 

Clearing his throat, Bucky grabs Sam’s arm and says, “We’re gonna go check out some art. Coming Nat?”

“ _Oh, I’m with you_ ,” she says, giving Tony a peck on the cheek before shooting a look at Steve that he roughly translates to **‘watch yourself.’**

She’s always been overly protective of Tony. Tiberius Stone still bolts at the mere sight of her - which, _good riddance,_ really, but Steve’s never asked what she said or possibly did to him, and at this point he’s too afraid to ask. 

Though he might end up finding out tonight anyway, based on how Tony will react. 

“Steve,” Tony crosses his arm, fingers twitching in the crook of his elbow, “What’s wrong?”

Looking at Tony isn’t an option, so he stares in the direction of where his painting hangs and says, “Just nervous. A lot of my grade is riding on this. Why didn’t you bring Thor?”

“Oh,” and Steve doesn’t even need to look to know that Tony is smiling, the one that causes crinkles in the corner of his eyes. “I finally, _after weeks,_ got him to Thor up, and ask Bruce out.”

Steve whips his head to stare at Tony so fast, he’s possibly sprained something. “What do you mean ask _Bruce_ out?”

Tony grins, “Yeah, Thor’s been crushing pretty hard and Brucie’s been locked away in his lab for an unhealthy amount of time - and if _I’m_ saying that, _you know it’s bad_ \- but he did it! They’re on their date as we speak, and no offence Steve but I don’t he had this in mind for their first date.”

There are a lot of emotions swirling through Steve’s brain right now but at the forefront, it’s definitely _relief_ , and _a little bit_ of shame - I mean, he really has _no right_ to be jealous but he doesn’t know what to say to all that except for, “Good for them.”

There’s a look in Tony’s eye he can’t decipher before the other man grabs his arms and starts leading him towards his painting and _oh, oh no -_

“And I know you said you’re nervous, but you really have nothing to be nervous about Steve. You’re incredibly talented and you’re gonna get an exorbitant amount of money thrown at you from all these stuffy art snobs bidding on your work.”

Steve can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of him as Tony drags him along. “They’re not for sale, Tony. Erskine has to grade them.”

“Well _tough_ because I’m definitely gonna get Pepper to -”

But Steve doesn’t find out what Tony’s going to get Pepper to do, because he stops dead in his tracks and tapers off, eyes wide and mouth open just a little as he stares at the portrait - his own face reflected back to him on canvas. 

It’s a painting of a photograph, one that he had instantly favourited and stared at all day after Bucky sent it to their group chat - of Tony at the park when they’d decided to have a picnic after Nat’s last paper. His head is thrown back in a laugh, but his eyes are open, _shining_ in the afternoon sun with the crinkles in the corner, cheeks flushing with pink on his brown skin and hair falling on his forehead, _curling delicately_ around his temples - no product or styling other than him running his hands through it every 5 minutes. 

He had looked so relaxed - so, _so unguarded -_ that Steve couldn’t _not_ try to recapture it with his favourite medium to do so, which is now here, waiting to be graded _\- oh god, why, why why did he -_

“Steve?” he hears distantly, like he’s underwater. “What - when did you - why, _why is my face hanging on this wall?”_

Steve winces and thinks, _well if their friendship is about to end right now because of this, he might as well be honest._ “I - Nothing else I painted was good enough, Tony. Erskine has always said to us throughout the year that the difference between a _good painting_ and a _great painting_ is how the artist _feels_ during the process and about the subject. The paintings I have of my mom _are good_ but they’re a little sad and a touch nostalgic. The pictures I have of our friends, they don’t even _come close_ to what you see here.” He sighs then, looks into Tony’s wide, wide eyes and grabs hold of his shaking hands. “Because what you’re looking at here, this is how I feel. This is _-_ this is _my heart_ bled out on canvasbecause _you’re all that’s in it -_ your smile, your laugh, your eyes - _you’re it,_ for me, Tony.”

Tony has tears pooling in his eyes and Steve is about to step back, terrified with the knowledge that he’s messed up his relationship with one of his best friends but then there’s lips on his lips. 

Tony is kissing him. 

_Tony is kissing him_ \- god, he’s so relieved he thinks he’s shaking - and he nearly lifts Tony off his feet when he starts kissing back. 

They break apart when they hear Bucky whistle at them, soft smiles on their faces. 

“You’re it for me too, Steve. Always have been,” Tony says, and really what else can Steve do but kiss the smile on Tony’s lips. 

🎨 🎨 🎨

Erskine gives him an A with distinction for his work and Nat takes them all out to dinner to celebrate, treating them with the pool money she won from the _“when will Steve and Tony get together bet”_ that he found out about that night. 

Steve isn’t really too bothered by it as much as Tony is, arguing with them that they should get a cut off the money cause as he looks at Tony’s smile that’s he now carries with him on his lock screen, his laughter _ringing_ around the diner and the feel of him where they’re pressed side to side in the cramped booth, he knows who really won.


	5. 8. buying them something unrequested because it made you think of them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to the person who requested this one! hope you like it! <3

Tuesday’s are their day off, which means it’s become a day spent lazing around in bed - doing nothing productive and scrolling through their netflix _home page_ for half an hour before deciding on something to watch - or it’s a day where they run errands and do chores, the pile up of their laundry growing too large to be ignored.

A day where nothing bad _particularly_ happens, but nothing _great_ either. 

Juggling their respective classes as well as part-time work to ensure they can keep renting their tiny apartment and get by every month means they don’t often have time off to just _be_ \- and Tony’s had a rough week, spending whatever spare time in the lab to finish up his final project which thankfully, he submitted yesterday. 

Steve had come home to find him under their covers and hogging their blanket _\- as he usually does -_ holding onto Steve’s pillow as he snored lightly. 

Trying to pry his pillow away from Tony was considerably easy since he barely even moved and come morning, he just gave a small _snuffle_ when Steve got off the bed.

If Steve were any weaker, he’d just fall right back in but right now he had a _mission_ that took precedence, so he gets ready as quietly as he can before slipping out the door. 

The bakery is 2 miles from their apartment and _only_ makes blueberry muffins on Tuesday - a fresh batch in the early morning that is always sold out by _latest,_ 9AM.

It’s Tony’s absolute _favourite_ baked good, better than Bucky’s chocolate chip cookies he states, _much_ to Bucky’s offence. 

By Steve’s last count, Bucky’s changed his recipe 3 times to appeal to Tony’s taste but Tony is _steadfast_ in his loyalty to the muffins as much as he is steadfast in his love for _Steve._

A comparison that has been noted by many. 

So here he is, queuing at _7.30_ on this Tuesday morning _\- damn, he really thought he had left early enough to avoid the line -_ since Tony has been so _so_ tired, and Steve is a weak, _weak_ man when it comes to his boyfriend and because he knows he’s going to get that little smile - his _favourite_ Tony smile, a helpless thing that starts small like he’s trying to hide it but _can’t_ and so it grows, causing crinkles by his eyes and dimples _\- lord, the dimples -_ by his cheeks. 

There’s almost nothing Steve wouldn't do to see that smile, so when he gets home _\- one hour_ after he had left - to find Tony sitting at their kitchen counter, cradling a mug of coffee to his chest and wearing one of Steve’s shirts, he just about melts to the floor.

And when Tony sees him with the paper bag stamped with the bakery’s logo, the smell of baked goods clinging to him, Steve is rewarded with a smile. 

_That_ smile, and he thinks, _‘today’s gonna be a great day.’_


	6. 5. giving them a kiss before going to work and they are still in bed

This is Steve’s _most_ and _least_ favourite part of the day.

The sun is rising, light slowly creeping in from the edges of their curtains dimly lighting their tiny apartment, the sounds of the city getting louder and louder aided by their neighbour’s alarm _ringing_ through the wall. 

Steve has no idea what Frank from 4B _does_ that has him home at midnight and awake before 6.30AM but it does help Steve understand his less than cheery demeanour. 

Tony used to think he was in the mob before coming to the realisation that no one part of the mob would _willingly_ live in their rundown building. 

The alarm through the thin wall however, is Steve’s signal that he _absolutely_ has to get up and start getting ready or he’s going to be late. 

He sighs softly before slipping out of the bed, careful not to jostle it too much and disturb Tony, who doesn’t need to be awake for another hour. 

He barely stirs besides giving a small snuff into his pillow and _this_ \- this is why it’s Steve’s least favourite part of his day. 

He _loves_ Tony. He loves Tony _always_ , at any hour of every day. 

He loves Tony when it’s 10am and he comes into the coffee shop when they’re both on break and Tony is there with a mug waiting for him. 

He loves Tony when it’s 1pm and he sends a text to make sure Tony goes to get some lunch and receives a slew of emojis in reply, _always_ ending with a kissy face. 

He loves Tony when it’s 4pm and they’re both tired from work followed by their classes, and Tony calls him from the lab with _ridiculous_ anecdotes about Justin Hammer or simply because he wanted to hear Steve’s voice.

He loves Tony when it’s 7pm and they’re both worn out, but so happy to be _back home_ \- together, and they talk about their day over dinner at their table that wobbles because one of the legs is shorter than the others. 

He loves Tony when it’s 9pm and they’re curled up on the bed and he’s running his hands through Steve’s hair as they unwind from their day, mindlessly scrolling and sharing funny posts with each other. 

He loves Tony at 11pm - hedging into 12, in the cover of darkness as they’re so entangled in one another, breathless gasps and small laughs being shared between their lips. 

He loves Tony, _always_ \- but this _right_ here, at 6.20am, is when he thinks he loves Tony _the most._

Because his love is bundled under their blanket, tufts of hair sticking up onto the pillow and so _so sleepy_ , yet when he gets out of the shower, there’s going to be a canister full of freshly brewed coffee on the table with a plate of PB&J sandwiches next to it and Tony is still going to be tucked in bed like he never left. 

And _all_ he wants to do as he slips off the bed is to get back _in_ , under the covers and sleep until Tony is awake, eyes opening slowly and burrowing his head in Steve’s chest, a dopey smile on his lips that Steve can _feel_ on his skin _\- but he can’t._

So completes his morning routine and starts his day like every other day - with a kiss to Tony’s cheek and with a love that _ignites_ his heart into a flame he will carry _throughout_ the day, at _every hour, always._


	7. 24. tracing your names together in the sand

Steve can’t remember the last birthday party he had that he’d enjoyed. 

He thinks it might have been before the war because while they didn't have much, it was still the _best_ of a bad situation. Bucky always managed to sneak a loaf of bread and some cheese - Steve still has no idea how he managed it considering Mrs. Covington _hated_ him but he’d been appreciative nonetheless. 

After the war though, it had been less about _Steve’s_ birthday and more about celebrating _Captain America._ It probably _didn’t_ help that his birthday fell on independence day either. 

So when Clint suggested a group trip to Malibu for the weekend, he said yes for two simple reasons. 

The first being that he’d love to be out of New York for the 4th weekend because past experience has taught him that Doom is likely to pull another _ridiculous_ scheme and frankly, after the craziness of the last _2 weeks_ and recent endeavours that resulted in slime getting stuck in some _horrifying_ places - he think the Fantastic 4 should maybe start living up to their name and deal with him for a change.

The second reason is _well_ , he’s hoping that maybe getting away from the city, from their lives, the mantles and the expectations - even for just a few hours, would do them all a world of good. That they could just _\- be._

He’s also kind of hoping to spend some time with Tony. He hasn’t seen much of him outside of battles with Tony spending whatever spare time he had at SI but unfortunately, Tony is _still_ working - paying a visit to the Malibu HQ and working on something in R&D. 

They’re on the beach having a bonfire night - though Steve suspects that Clint just wants to eat S’mores without judgement since he’s hogging all the supplies. Thankfully, Sam had packed _actual food_ in a picnic basket while Natasha was in charge of drinks. She brought a bottle of tequila and a bottle of vodka, though she did also slice lime wedges.T he _4 cartons_ of apple juice is for Tony, and no one is allowed to touch them unless they want to lose a finger.

Thor and Bruce were sitting atop the blanket, passing a bowl of grapes back and forth as they watched the sunset, Bucky was setting up the bonfire area with Rhodes and Wanda was sitting on a boulder with Vision, both of them smiling softly at each other.

Steve looks around at them, this group of chaos he gets to call family - albeit, with a missing piece,- smiles softly to himself before dusting off the sand clinging to his jeans and heads to the shoreline. 

The benefits of a private beach means he doesn’t have to be concerned about strangers in his space at the moment, but it also means he has _nothing_ to distract him. 

The sounds of the ocean waves crashing onto the sand isn’t _peaceful_ to him as it is for others, the smell and taste of the salty air makes his throat feels like it’s _burning_ , and he just _knows_ , that if the water were to actually touch him, he’d feel like he was drowning - _submerged_ all over again. 

“Hey,” a voice says behind him and he doesn’t jump because _of course_ he’d find him.

“Hey, Tony,” Steve smiles. “You made it! Just in time, they’re going to light the fire soon.”

“Of course I made it,” Tony says, punching Steve lightly on the arm. “I wasn’t about to miss your birthday, old man!” 

“Hey, I have it on good authority that I’m pretty _spry_ for my age,” Steve says.

Tony’s cheeks colour a little at that. “That’s from all the pilates you do.”

Steve gives a small laugh at that before jerking to where everyone is, huddled around the fire Bucky and Rhodes have got a flame going, “Wanna head back up?”

“Yeah - I’ve got a sur- _Oh_!” He stops walking to pick up a - “Look, a stick!”

“You know, for a tech genius, you sure are easily impressed,” Steve deadpans. 

Tony sticks his tongue out at him. “Oh shut it, let’s be cheesy! Alright, since you didn’t want a cake and from the way Clint is guarding the marshmallows, I doubt we’ll get much for dessert so here,” he says, drawing a cake shaped blob in the sand with the stick. “Close your eyes, make a wish, and blow out the candle before the ocean does.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Steve tells him, but indulges him anyway because saying no to Tony when he’s looking at Steve _like that_ is a near impossible task, so he closes his eyes and thinks of Tony’s smile.

“What’d you wish for?” He asks when Steve opens his eyes and - _wow_ , were they standing this close before? 

“Uh, I can’t - if I tell you, it won’t come true,” he says and grabs at the stick in Tony’s hand. “I -I could write it, in the sand for you though.”

There’s a light in Tony’s eyes that warms him to his core, the colours of sunset bathing them in soft colours and Steve wills his palms to stop sweating as he traces ‘ **Iron Man + Cap’** in the sand, encompassed by a loopy heart. 

Tony doesn’t say anything, and Steve can barely look at him - he doesn’t think his eyes work anyway nor the rest of his senses. 

He can’t smell any salt in the air and the sound of the sea is gone, replaced by the pounding of his heart in his throat. 

“I like it, but you know what I love better?” Tony says, drawing another heart next to his. He adds a **‘SR+TS’** in it and looks at Steve. 

Steve kisses him in lieu of a reply. 

***

Tony’s surprise turns out to be a drone show spelling out “Happy birthday Steve” across the skyline before rearranging to write out “I love you.”

He turns to him and says, “Now we’re written in the stars and in the sand, carried out into the ocean forever.”

Steve kisses him again and doesn’t stop. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday Steve! <3


	8. 27. Leaving a plate of food in the microwave for when they have a late shift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the prompt Tanisha! I'm sorry it took me like a _month_ and I hope you like it! <3

Steve’s been avoiding Tony for the last 2 weeks. 

Well, either that or he’s got a gambling addiction he’s managed to hide for the last 3 years and is now in serious debt because these are the only options Tony can think to explain why Steve’s picked up _double shifts_ at _both_ his jobs.

It gives him only a few hours to come home and basically pass out on their bed before groaning himself awake, leaving Tony with a quick peck goodbye and a “Love you!” shouted to him from the door. 

It’s the “Love you’s” that are giving him pause though, keeping him from completely breaking down on the phone to Rhodey over the familiar patterns cropping up and ugly thoughts swimming through his head because _this_ \- this is like those last few weeks with Ty all over again.

The suddenly extremely busy schedule, the pulling away, the less than _10 words_ being exchanged in a day, a suspicious amount of phone calls -and _who_ even _calls_ anymore? -with Steve whispering his responses into the receiver and Tony is just about at his wits end because he _doesn’t_ think _Steve_ would ever cheat on him - but he’d thought that with Ty too, and we all know how that turned out.

So here he is, pacing around their tiny apartment with the clock on the mantle that is always ahead by 2 minutes _ticking, ticking, ticking_ \- when the door opens at 10.28pm and the argument that had been brewing on the tip of his tongue dies.

Steve’s hair and clothes are damp, the bags under his eyes have never been more pronounced and his shoulders are so _slumped_ that Sarah would whack him with a rolled up newspaper if she saw him - Tony knows that for a _fact_ , he’s seen it happen. 

Tony wraps his arms around himself, feet fidgeting where he’s come to a standstill. “Hey.”

Steve startles, dropping his keys onto the hardwood - and _that_ is the true testament to how tired Steve is because he’s almost _always_ alert. Tony’s managed to _really_ catch him off guard maybe 6 times since they’ve known each other in the last _4 years._

“Hey, baby,” Steve says, picking up his keys. “Didn’t see you there.”

“That’s unsurprising, you can barely open your eyes,” Tony says, taking Steve’s bag from him. 

He gets a soft smile and affectionate kiss to his temple for it and feels the familiar sting of tears forming. “I, uh, I left some dinner in the microwave for you,” he says, walking to the kitchen, surreptitiously wiping at his eyes. 

“Ugh, you’re an angel,” Steve says, opening up the microwave. He pulls out the plate and frowns. “You cooked chicken tikka?”

“Yeah, I stopped by the bodega on the way home,” he shrugs. “Can’t afford to keep ordering out anyway.”

Steve frowns harder, putting the plate back in the microwave and setting it to 50 seconds before moving to stand in front of Tony. “What’s wrong?”

“What? Nothing - there’s nothing wrong,” Tony stutters. 

“Your mom’s tikka recipe is your ultimate comfort food, Tony. What’s got you upset?” he asks, cupping Tony’s cheek with a warm palm and Tony just _\- he can’t -_

He steps out of reach and Steve’s face seems permanently set in a frown now, hand still outstretched. “Tony?”

“I - If you’re going to end things with me, then I’d rather you just _do it_ instead of whatever the hell _this_ is. Just - Just rip the band-aid off! Stop with the love you’s and the touches and the knowing me so well down to the comfort food! Just - _just say it.”_

Tony’s chest is heaving, whether from the indignation or from the sobs building in his lungs, he isn’t sure.

“ _End things?_ I don’t want - Hey, Tony,” Steve says, walking forward and cupping both of Tony’s cheeks so he can look into his eyes. “Baby, I don’t know what’s been going on in that head of yours, but _listen_ to me, I do not want to break up with you. Not now, _not ever_. It’s the opposite, in fact”

“Then - then _what the hell_ has been going on these last few weeks Steve? Why are you running yourself into the ground? Did we miscalculate with our finances or - I thought we were doing okay so - _what_? What do you mean the opposite?”

Steve thumbs stop stroking Tony’s cheek, sighing, “This _really_ isn’t how I wanted to do this, - I mean, there was a _plan_. Extravagant bouquet of flowers and expensive restaurant type plans - but the very idea of you thinking for a minute that I’m going to break up with you is nightmare inducing so,” Steve reaches into his back pocket while slowly lowering himself to one knee and _oh - oh, oh holy deity -_

“Tony, I knew I loved you from the moment I met you. These last 3 years have been the happiest years of my life and the very idea of ever ending _this_ \- this wonderful, maddening, roller coaster of a journey with you frankly makes me want to break out in hives. You’re the most amazing, beautiful and brilliant person I know, and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t thank the universe for thinking I’m worthy of you so-” there’s a box in Steve’s hand, and there’s a _ring_ in that box _-t_ here’s a _diamond_ ring in Steve’s hand _\- holy -_

“Tony, will you marry me?” 

Tony thinks his bones have turned to liquid because he’s suddenly on his knees, kissing Steve and tasting salt. 

“Is that a yes?” Steve asks, laughter in his voice with a smile so bright it warms Tony to the core.

Tony stamps kisses all over Steve’s face as an answer. 


	9. 6. tucking your head into their neck during a hug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the request pensivegrace! Hope you like it xx

Objectively, Steve knows that Tony isn’t _short_. 

He’s just about the national average, plus the nation itself thinks he’s _taller_ since he wears lifts in his shoes whenever in public and when in the suit, he stands shoulder to shoulder with _Thor_.

Steve _knows_ this, but as he watches Tony moving around the kitchen in his bare feet, the early morning light bathing him in soft gold as he hums a familiar tune with Steve’s shirt hanging off his frame, the fabric of the sleeves _scrunched_ together where they’ve been pushed back to his elbows and the hem coming down to his _knees_ \- Steve can’t help but think that Tony just looks so _small_.

He’d never say it out loud of course, unless he wants to hear Tony screech at him at a _ridiculous_ decibel and then ignore him for an hour, but he really can’t be blamed for not being able to withstand the siren call that is Tony in the morning - nor would he _want_ to. 

He moves as quietly as he can, snaking his arms around Tony’s waist and tucking his face in the side of his neck, giving it a small kiss and getting a delightful shiver in return. “Good morning, beloved.”

“A good morning indeed,” Tony replies, turning in Steve’s embrace, moving his arms up to rest on Steve’s shoulder. “What do you want for breakfast and why is it pancakes?”

Steve laughs, kissing the grin on Tony’s face. “Pancakes sound great.”

“Fantastic,” Tony says, pulling a spatula from somewhere and putting it in Steve’s hand. “Can I have them with chocolate chips, please?”

Steve gives an exasperated sigh but he’s not really that bothered, especially in the face of Tony’s attempt to look innocent. “I knew you only liked me for my pancake flipping abilities.”

“Such lies, Rogers,” he says, moving back to haul himself atop the kitchen top. “I _love_ you for your pancake flipping abilities.”

Steve can’t even think of anything to say to that because he’s watching Tony’s feet swing slightly because they’re nowhere near the ground and before he can stop it, “God, you're tiny.”

The indignant shout Tony lets out wakes the rest of the tower. 

Steve’s gonna have to dump the entire bag of chocolate chips into the batter for a _chance_ at being forgiven. 


	10. 11. telling them a dumb joke to see their smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This number prompted by descendantofwolves on tumblr.

Steve hasn’t stopped shivering and it’s been 6 hours now.

He’s on the couch, wrapped up in _at least_ 3 blankets and staring at a space documentary that Tony doubts he’s actually watching.

There’s a far off look in his eyes that Tony recognises all too well.

He always wondered what Steve’s _Big Nightmare_ was - the war itself or the ice - but he didn’t think this is how he’d get an answer.

“The next time I see Doom I’m going to turn him into a Tin Can and send him to Latveria as a recyclable,” Tony says, dropping onto the seat next to Steve.

“How eco conscious of you,” Steve says, staring straight ahead.

“Well, I am all about green, clean energy,” Tony says, watching Neil explain Herchel’s observations of light impact and trying to ignore the taste of ash in his mouth whenever they pan to shots of the solar system.

“You know, if you’re interested in space I could lend you some books,” Tony tells him.

“That sounds great, Tony,” Steve replies but he still sounds far away, face blank and Tony - Tony _hates_ that.

He’s gotten used to Steve’s smile and his laughter, the way he lights up a room with it and makes him feel _warm_ , leaving him with a fluttering in his stomach that he hasn’t felt since he was _14-_ young and wide eyed, staring at Sunset Bain and thinking he knew what love was.

“Yeah, like right now I’m reading this book about gravity. It’s proven impossible to put down,” Tony tries and for a moment there’s only silence - just Neils’ voice drawling in the background - before he _feels_ Steve’s shoulders start to shake.

“Oh my god, that was _terrible,”_ Steve says but there’s a smile on his lips and - _there it is,_ the fluttering is closer to his chest now. “I expected better from you.”

“I was working with what I had,” Tony shrugs, bumping Steve in the side. “You gonna be okay?”

“How could I not when I’ve got you,” Steve smiles at him and Tony - Tony feels that _warm_ feeling spread all the way down to his toes.


	11. 20. washing their back/hair in the shower

“I hate this,” Steve says into Tony’s hair, disturbing the bubble of peace that’s encased them since stepping into the hotel room.

Tony actively keeps his body relaxed, _refusing_ to let the tension that seeps into his very _bones_ whenever they’re away from each other creep into the cocoon they’ve made for themselves here under the covers.

But even he can’t outrun the reality of time, always - _ticking, ticking, ticking._

“I know,” he sighs, staring out the window at the setting sun in Oslo. “Just a few more months.”

Steve kisses the curve of Tony’s shoulder, aggravating the beard burn he put there not even an hour ago. “A few more months,” he sighs.

They’re quiet, unwilling to further a discussion that they _should_ be having.

“We gotta wash up or we’re gonna be stuck together,” Steve says eventually though he makes no move to get up.

“There are worst fates,” Tony says, turning in the circle of Steve’s arm, grimacing a little at the slick feeling between them.

Steve smiles, kissing between Tony’s brow before moving to the bathroom. “Do you want me to fill the tub or just start up the shower?”

“Shower is fine,” Tony answers, rolling off the bed and stripping away the used sheets.

“Hey, they have your favourite fancy soaps!” Steve calls out over the sound of the water.

“Of course they do babe, I booked this place,” he says, stepping in and pulling Steve under the spray of the shower.

The water is _dizzyingly_ warm and Tony leans back into Steve’s embrace, letting him soap up Tony’s skin and massage the jasmine shampoo into Tony’s hair.

“I’m gonna fall asleep right here if you keep it up,” Tony tells him. “Switch.”

“We already do that,” Steve says, grinning down at Tony as he squeezes a dollop of shampoo onto Tony’s palms.

“What have we said about you making jokes Steve? Leave it to the professionals.”

“The next time we take a shower together I’ll be sure John Mulaney gets our invite.”

“You’re not funny,” Tony huffs, reaching up to soap Steve’s hair, tugging on the long strands. “It’s grown so much in the last 3 weeks.”

“Just a few more months and I’ll cut it,” Steve tells him, bending his knees a little and thinking Tony doesn’t notice.

“Just a few more months,” he repeats and pretends the _tick, tick, ticking_ he hears in his head is the sounds of a clock rather than a time bomb.


	12. 44. standing between them and a busy road

*****

Steve doesn’t even think about it.

They’re walking along with their friends ahead of them, Tony caught up in his rant about how Mr. Vanko is out to get him as they’re coming up to the crosswalk and Steve simply switches sides to put himself between the cars and Tony without a pause in this one-way conversation. 

He just watches and laughs at Tony antics as they enter the diner and wishes he could hold Tony’s hand as they walk. 

******

MassArt is only 18 minutes away from MIT when he cycles, but Steve hasn’t seen Tony for nearly a _week_ \- both of them caught up with assignments and well, Tony’s been caught up with his new friend - _Rhodey._

Steve hasn’t met him yet, but Tony hasn’t stopped singing praises about the man via text and Steve - he’s not _jealous_ or anything, he just wants to make sure that this _Rhodey_ has good intentions, that’s all. 

That’s the only reason he’s pedalling like his life depends on it to meet Tony and his roommate for brunch.

He gets to Luna in 15 minutes and chains his bicycle to the rack. He’s looking around for Tony when someone jumps on his back.

“Surprise!” Tony shouts in his ear. 

“Glad to see college life hasn’t changed you, Tony,” Steve says, as Tony gets down. 

Someone clears their throat behind Steve and he turns to see a man, looking at Steve suspiciously.

Ah, _Rhodey._ “So, you’re the infamous Steve that Tony hasn’t shut up about, huh,” he says and Steve watches Tony’s face turn pink.

“Rhodey,” he hisses and the other man grins, holding his hand out.

“Well, I’ve heard plenty of you too,” Steve says, shaking his hand. “You’re all Tony talks about these days besides his lab.”

“Oh, God, just kill me,” Tony mutters. “Let’s go eat, I’m starving.”

“Unsurprising, seeing as all you had to eat yesterday was a packet of blueberries and my entire pot of coffee.”

“Rhodey! Stop ratting me out,” Tony says as he shrugs at the glare Steve sends him. 

“Tony, you can’t just -”

“I know, I know, I just got distracted. Come on you two mother hens, watch me eat my weight in breakfast foods,” he says pressing the button at the crosswalk light.

“There better be a vegetable somewhere in there,” Steve says, not entirely jokingly as he moves to stand to Tony’s left and bumps into Rhodes. 

“Oh, sorry,” he says, moving to stand next to the other man, watching two cars roll to a stop as the light signals for them to cross.

Brunch itself goes well, and Steve finds he quite likes Rhodes and the man’s sense of humour but something in him _untightens_ from it’s knot when he takes his leave to meet up for a _date_ with someone named Carol, ruffling Tony’s hair when he wags his eyebrows at him and giving Steve a firm handshake, leaving the both of them to themselves.

Steve can’t help the warm feeling that takes root as he realises how much it feels like a date.

*******

The moving truck is parked in front of the building so Steve parks his jeep on the other side of the street and Tony jumps right out the moment the car stills.

Steve sighs, getting out to get the boxes in the backseat and trying his hardest not to laugh as Tony grabs the heaviest one before Steve can reach it, clearly struggling under its weight. 

“Baby, stop okay- you’re right, you’re big and strong and I’m sorry if I ever insinuated otherwise, so why don’t you just give me -”

Tony glares at him from over the top of the box as he reaches for it. “You didn’t _insinuate_ anything! You said I’m _small_ and should leave carrying the big heavy boxes to you Mr. Macho Man!” 

He slams the door with his foot and Steve winces. “Well, I’ll carry this one and you can get the smaller one!”

Steve sighs, wondering just how long Tony is going to be mad at him for his slip of tongue, putting up his hand in thanks to the driver who waits for them to cross to their new apartment.

A place just for _them_. 

He grins when they get to the door, placing the boxes just outside before sweeping Tony up, carrying him over the threshold. 

“Hey!” Tony calls out, glaring up at Steve. “Alright, alright, you’re so big and strong. There’s no need to show off now,” he says, dropping the box to the floor.

It lands with a solid thunk and Steve frowns at him. “You’re so lucky that was just clothes and not something more fragile.”

Tony just winds his hands around Steve’s neck and kisses the frown of his face. 

********

“The wedding was gorgeous, don’t you think,” Tony says, swinging their arms by their intertwined pinkies. 

“It was,” Steve says, tugging Tony back onto the sidewalk as a car passes by, switching to stand to the right as they cross to the hotel for the reception.

“Thor’s dad is a real piece of work though,” Tony continues. “Bruce practically turned green when Nat came to tell us that he showed up.”

“Thor didn’t fare much better when he found out, - though he probably took it better than Loki did,” Steve tells him. 

“Unsurprising seeing as how his cold shoulder is practically frostbite,” Tony says. “If I ever got married and Howard showed up, I’d be less graceful than Thor was, that’s for sure.”

“If, huh?” Steve grins at him as they enter the reception hall. “What happened to _Mr. I would rather die than have all my family gathered together?”_

Tony looks to where they’re friends are all seated together - near the now married couple before looking up at Steve, “Guess family means something else to me know,” he says _and Steve -_ Steve doesn’t say anything to that, just kisses the top of Tony’s head and thinks about the ring hidden in the back of his sock drawer.

*********

Tony’s light radiates even brighter in Italy. 

There’s a _giddiness_ in his voice, in every step he takes as he shows Steve around his favourite places he’d visit in the summers with his mother.

And well, being newlyweds probably adds another layer to it too.

The villa in Ostia that Tony’s mother had given them as a wedding present was gorgeous, the view of the moonlight on the water a perfect backdrop for their nights spent as husbands. 

They fly to Florence in the morning, but for tonight they’re wandering the streets after eating their filling of ravioli and having _far too much_ wine, listing into each other as they dance along the cobblestones and all Steve is able to think is _\- I love you, I love you, I love you -_ so he says it aloud and Tony kisses the words back into his mouth.

“Take me to bed, _mio marito,”_ Tony says and Steve bundles Tony to his side as they cross the roads back to the villa, watchful of the vespas zipping through the streets and kissing Tony under the moonlight anytime they pause on their way.

**********

Tony’s always anxious walking the streets of New York with Peter in tow so Steve placing him atop his shoulders as they walk to get ice-cream eases him and Tony suspects Steve knows it. 

“Papa, I’m so tall now,” Peter says, clutching the top of Steve’s head and Tony nearly laughs at the way it causes his blonde hair sticks up in all directions. 

“Yeah, Petey give it just two more years and you’ll be taller than your papa is,” Steve says, laughing at the affronted look on Tony’s face.

“Dad, it’s not that hard to be taller than papa,” Peter says, and Steve laughs even harder at that.

“That’s it! The both of you aren’t getting _any_ ice-cream, I’m going to eat it all,” Tony says and watches Peter’s eyes go wide.

“No, _no, Papa_ \- I’m sorry if I made you upset,” jostling Steve as he tries to reach his hand out to hold onto Tony’s.

Tony offers him his pinky, letting him know he’s not actually mad. “Maybe - Maybe dad can let you go on his shoulders! Then _all of us_ can be tall!” 

Steve gives a huff of laughter as they cross the road, Tony resisting the urge to flip off the cab honking at them lest Peter look over. “I’ll let Dada climb onto my shoulders later if he wants,” Steve says, shooting Tony a grin as they enter the ice-cream shop and Tony rolls his eyes at him.

Peter climbs off Steve’s back and bounds his way over to the display. 

Steve kisses Tony’s fingertips and says, “I’ll get your usual,” before joining their son _and Tony_ \- Tony think the ice-cream is gonna instantly melt in his mouth from how warm he feels as he looks at his family.


	13. 15. calming them down when they have a bad dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween!

Tony jerks out of a dreamless sleep, wide awake in a darkened room, illuminated only by the sliver of moonlight slipping on through the curtains.

He moves off the bed, bare feet shuffling against the plush rug across the floor to look up out the window. 

“What is it?” he whispers, but she doesn't reply. 

He turns back to the bed but stops short at the sight of Steve curled up, his big frame bent inwards as if he’s trying to make himself small as possible, a death grip on the blankets he’s tugging around him like he’s trying to bury himself in the warmth despite the fact that Tony can see sweat pooling on his brow _but_ \- but he’s shivering. 

A small whimper escapes him, so soft Tony thought he’d imagined it but he hears it again and he’s back in bed in a flash - moving to wake Steve up. 

He briefly wonders if he should _see_ but dismisses the thought as quick as it came. 

“Steve, angel, wake up,” he coaxes, soft and gentle, stroking at Steve’s hair. “Awaken darling, it’s only a nightmare - _protegit luna, protegit luna,_ come now, _protegit luna._ ”

He repeats the words a few times before Steve’s eyes flutter open, his voice like a scratch when he says, “Tony?”

“Hi, sleepyhead,” Tony smiles down at him, kissing his brow. “You were having a nightmare. Thought I’d bring you out of it.”

“Y-yeah, thanks,” he says, sitting up against the headboard. 

Tony passes him the glass of water by his bedside and watches as Steve takes big gulps before placing the cup onto his side. “I - I’m sorry I woke you. I haven’t had them in a while now I thought they stopped - it’s why I didn't think to mention -”

“You didn’t wake me up,” Tony tells him, stroking his sweaty hair away from his eyes. “The moon did.”

Steve gives a huff of laughter, pulling Tony’s hands to his lips for a kiss. “Thank you. For waking me.”

He wonders if he should ask - biting his lip as he debates with himself but he must not mask it well - or well, Steve has gotten too good at reading him - because he says, “It’s a recurring dream I have. Since I was a teen really - it’s - it’s like I’m floating, I guess. In this big wide void, just darkness and it’s - it’s _so cold_ \- and I know it’s a dream but it feels so real, like I can feel ice just traveling through my veins. Like I’m being _frozen.”_

Steve takes a breath and Tony thinks he sees condensation when he exhales. “I can’t move, I can’t scream, I’m - I’m just _stuck_. My ma used to say that - that I was reliving a past life and to not think too much of it but I used to downplay just how _real_ all of it felt. Didn’t want her to worry I guess.”

“Well, I’m glad I was here to help,” Tony says, scooting closer to Steve, burrowing into his side. 

“It’s funny,” Steve says after a while. “I didn’t have _any_ dreams when I was over at yours. Maybe my bed is cursed.”

Tony laughs, “Maybe my bed is blessed and it’s a sign you should sleep over more, huh?”

“Now who am I to argue with signs like that?” Steve says, pulling the covers over them, their conversation drifting off with the waning moon. 

**

Steve stops having his nightmares after Tony buys him a new bed sheet set, simply waking up and forgetting whatever his subconscious cooked up. 

He tells Tony that maybe his bed sheets were cursed after all and Tony just laughs along, not mentioning the Mullein petals and Marjoram leaves stuffed in the pillows and the protection spell done under the Moon’s watchful eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's [the list](https://tinytonysnark.tumblr.com/post/620728567090839552/kyber-hearts-and-stardust-souls)! You're welcome to send in numbers to [my tumblr](https://tinytonysnark.tumblr.com/ask) that haven't been done yet!


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